Sarcasm
by CrimsonHeartFairy
Summary: It was all started from when Sanji said something sarcastically to Luffy in order to kick him out from the kitchen. Poor Sanji didn't know it will resulted to Chopper and Usopp running around,screaming, An angry Nami and his-now-bruised face. Sanji should blame it all to Luffy stupidity.


**Sarcasm**

**By : Crimson Heart Fairy**

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Rated : T for safety  
Pairing : Luffy X Straw Hat Pirate, Nakamaship.

This is one shot from one of my previous fanfic "Stupid Act" . But in this fic Luffy was just stupid not pretended to stupod.

_"Thinking"_

"Talking"

Read and Review

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Zoro was sleeping in the deck. He was having his usual nap, lying down on the deck. He snored loudly. Suddenly he felt someone poking his cheek. Zoro decided to ignored it, he didn't do anything instead he shifted his body, turning to the other side. Thinking the intruder who disturbed his nap had already gone. Zoro drifted back to sleep. Zoro ear twitched when he felt someone blew the air to his left ear. A few seconds later, someone yelled his name in his left ear. Zoro jerked up from his sleep, startling from the loud sound he heard. He touched his left ear, rubbing it slightly then he turned to his so-called intruder. Although, he had already guessed who did it. He looked pissed at Luffy who was grinning at him. His face didn't show any guilt after he had just disturbed Zoro nap.

"Zoro, what are you doing?"

Zoro growled. Can he see that he was just disturbed his precious nap. Zoro groaned slightly.

"Oh. I was just trained while lying down and closed my eyes, so next time I can fight with eyes closed. Or even shooting a laser beam from my eyes." Zoro responded sarcastically.

"Really? That's so cool." Luffy commented. The look in his was the same as when he saw the gaon canon for the first time.

Zoro sweet dropped seeing his captain's reaction. "No, Luffy. That was only sarcasm."

"Huh, salkam? What's that? A new type of food? "Luffy asked with drools.

Zoro sighed now, how should he explained it so a brainless guy like Luffy could understand it.

"Not a salkam. It's sarcasm." Zoro grunted.

"Oh. I see. What's that?" Luffy tilted his head confused.

"It was what I said before about laser thing. Emm, sarcasm is mmm, well you could say it as a lie." Zoro answered, picking his words carefully.

"That was a lie" Luffy felt disappointed "so, Zoro can't shoot laser beam?" Luffy pouted.

"No" Zoro answered. "If I had it, I will shoot you already" Zoro grunted in his mind.

Luffy pouted "Lying isn't good" Luffy said accusingly at Zoro.

"Yeah, well you see. Sarcasm is a lie in a funny way." Zoro answered, ignoring the accused look Luffy gave him.

"Eh? "Luffy blinked, not understanding what Zoro had just said.

"I mean, it was like a joke" Zoro answered shortly.

Luffy smiled widely. "So it's a mysterious word." Luffy said with a confident smile.

Zoro rolled his eyes. Why did he even bother explaining it to Luffy.

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Luffy walked on the deck, pouting a bit _"Zoro was so mean."_ he mumbled quietly. He had been smacked earlier by Zoro in his head then Zoro yelled at him to play at somewhere else. Luffy got confused. He didn't do anything bad at him, did he?

Luffy suddenly saw Chopper and Usopp. His face showed a huge grin. He ran towards them, shouting their name. "USOPP, CHOPPER LET"S PLAY."

Usopp and Chopper looked up to Luffy. Usopp shook his head. "Sorry. I can't. I am making my new awesome weapon." Usopp pointed at his tools sprawled on the deck. Luffy turned to Chopper. "Sorry, Luffy. I am making a new medicine." Chopper said apologetically. Luffy face changed to a disappointed one. Seeing this, Usopp made a suggestion. "Why don't you go to Sanji? I think he already started to prepare dinner."

"Really" Luffy face changed fast. He mouthed thanks to Usopp and dashed to the kitchen.

Luffy slammed the kitchen's door. He found Sanji was chopping meat with a kitchen knife. Luffy drools came out, imagining what he would have for dinner. "SANJI, I WANT MEAT." Luffy asked or practically shouted. Sanji got irritated by this but he decided to ignore Luffy.

"MEAT " Luffy kept whining for meat.

"SHUT UP. SHITTY CAPTAIN" Sanji kicked Luffy in the face but Luffy dodged it somehow. Sanji grunted turning his attention back to cooking, completely ignoring Luffy's whining.

Luffy frowned seeing Sanji reaction. "Hey, Sanji what are you doing?" Luffy asked, trying to attract Sanji attention.

Sanji turned to Luffy, irked a bit. "I chopped human meat to serving it as a dinner for you later." Sanji said with a hint of sarcasm with a sadist smile. He raised his knife to Luffy which accidentally had a bit of blood in it.

Luffy gasped. He gulped seeing Sanji scary face. He shuddered hearing Sanji words. Sanji raised his eyebrow confused at Luffy's reaction. Just when he wanted to asked him. Luffy screamed loudly,dashing outside

Outside the kitchen, Usopp looked weirdly at screaming Luffy. He wondered what was wrong with him.

"What's wrong, Sanji kicked you out from the kitchen again?" Usopp asked.

Luffy stopped screaming. He starred at Usopp for a while then shouted .

" SANJI WILL COOK HUMAN MEAT FOR OUR DINNER" Luffy ran to the man's cabin, hiding himself.

"Sanji said he prepared human meat for our dinner later." Luffy said innocently. Noticing the horrified look on Usopp and Chopper face, he showed a small smirk. Well, technically he didn't lie right. Sanji did say so.

Usopp and Chopper mouth gaped. Their body froze hearing the news from Luffy. Their eyes widened and both of their face became pale. Chopper was the first one to react he was running around panicked while screaming a-cannibal-monster. Usopp still froze, thinking deeply. There was no way Sanji would do that right? He wouldn't let everyone especially Nami and robin to eat human meat. Usopp tried to convince himself. Suddenly Usopp remembered, Sanji was complained earlier that they need to restock their food thanks to their stupid captain. Usopp gulped maybe Sanji thought it was better to serve them human meat than letting them starve. After all Sanji had experienced how bad starvation was. Usopp sweated Nervously. He glanced at the man's cabin. Usopp had known Luffy never lie and he was suck at it. "So, it's mean Luffy telling him the truth?"

Usopp let out a loud scream and soon he joined Chopper who was still running around blabbering about a cannibal cook.

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Nami was busy making a map in her room. It was a perfect time to do that. The sky was clear and the weather was good enough. So Nami could relax a little bit and made a new map in her room.

"Yep, I can finish this in two hours." Nami smiled proudly then she started to work with a smile in her face. After a few minutes passed, her smile was gone replaced with a deep scowl after hearing her crew scream echoed to her room, making her lost concentration on her map.

"_They better had a good reason for this."_ Nami slammed her door, heading outside.

Usopp and Chopper stopped their scream after hearing a loud sound from the slammed door. They looked at an angry and pissed Nami. Then they started running again but this time mumbled about an evil witch appeared. Nami got angrier seeing this. She dashed towards them, grabbing each of their heads and smacking them against each other for good. Nami smirked evilly looking at Chopper and Usopp who got knocked out by her. A large bump appeared on their heads. Nami stared at Chopper who had already fainted then he looked at Usopp who was now shivering in fear.

"What was that thing you yelled about?" Nami asked out of curiosity.

Usopp blinked hearing that question then he remembered about the human meat news earlier. Usopp suddenly screamed, passing out in front of Nami. Nami raised her eyebrow at this.

"Yo, what's up, Nami?" Nami turned around to find Luffy walked towards her, already recovering from his previous schock.

"Luffy. Do you know what's wrong with them? Nami pointed at the fainted Usopp and Chopper.

Luffy eyes widened. " OH MY GOD Nami. You killed Usopp and Chopper. How could you?" Luffy stared unbelievable at the scene in front of him.

Nami groaned. "Great, another idiot again."

"No, Luffy. They only fainted a bit." Nami explained briefly.

"Really, thank goodness. Luffy sighed in relief. I though you killed them because they steal your papers." Luffy laughed.

"Excuse me, my paper?"

"Eh, you didn't know. Yesterday Usopp and Chopper had a drawing contest but they didn't have enough paper. So they secretly borrowed it from you." Luffy explained not feeling bothered by the dark aura Nami let out.

"_That explains the missing paper in my table."_ Nami scoffed angrily maybe she should kill both of them for real. She glared at the fainted Usopp and Chopper.

"Oh. I joined them too. It was so much fun, playing as a thief. "Luffy added.

"_Another person to kill."_Nami thought darkly.

"Hey...Nami" Luffy called her, thinking Nami was spacing out.

Well, maybe she could forgive them this time. Her map was her first priority after all. She sighed. "Luffy, do you know what's wrong with them. They acted a bit funny earlier?"Nami asked once again

"Chopper and Usopp?" Luffy blinked. "Oh. They started to run and scream when I told them Sanji cooked human meat for dinner."

"I see. So you told them Sanji cooked human meat." Nami replied with a calm face. "YOU TOLD THEM WHAT?" Nami shrieked

"That Sanji cooked human meat for dinner?" Luffy repeated his answer.

Nami starred at Luffy, judging from Luffy expression Luffy was saying the truth. Meaning Sanji had lied to her.

Oh Sanji was going to pay her a lot because he indirectly disturbed her making a map. Nami scowled.

Nami walked to the kitchen, dragging Luffy with her. She slammed the door. Hearing the door slammed, Sanji scowled thinking it was Luffy who disturbed him again. But as soon he realized that it was Nami. He smiled and danced around.

"Nami-swan. Is there anything you want?" Sanji starred lovingly to Nami. He looked closely and realized that Luffy was behind her. The scowl in Sanji face returned.

"Luffy, what the heck are y-" Sanji didn't finish his question as Nami slammed the table.

"Sanji, what did you say to Luffy earlier?" Nami glared at Sanji.

Confuse of what happened, Sanji blinked he rarely saw Nami-swan angry at him. She was usually angry at trio idiot Luffy, Chopper and Usopp or at moss head.

"Nami-swan, I didn't say anything to that damn shitty captain. But if you want I can say how much I love you, Nami-swan." Sanji answerred, while dancing around.

Nami growled at his answer. "Luffy tell him what he said to you earlier." Nami ordered Luffy.

"Well, you said that you are cooking human meat as our dinner." Luffy pouted like a kid.

"Because you said that. Usopp and Chopper screamed around making me lost focus on my map." Nami said with a low dangerous voice.

Sanji gulped he didn't like Nami swan angry especially at him. "Damn shitty rubber man" Sanji muttered darkly. "No, Nami swan. It was only sarcasm. I am sure Luffy understand it, right Luffy?" Sanji and Nami looked at their captain.

Luffy blinked, tilting his head at one side. He smiled. "What's salkam, a new type of meat?"

Sanji groaned, mumbling "Stupid captain."

Nami looked at Luffy smiling face then he looked back at Sanji, yelling at him that he should had known that Luffy was stupid enough to distinguished the different between the truth and sarcasm.

"Eh, It was a lie?" Luffy suddenly asked. Sanji and Nami looked at Luffy innocent face.

" Yes. Luffy that was a lie." Nami rolled her eyes at his captain stupidity, sighing loudly she turned her attention back to Sanji who was glaring at Luffy. Then she continued scolding him

"So, we won't eating human meat? Luffy question got ignored. Luffy sneaked away from the kitchen, he didn't want to hear Nami scolding. _"Though, I am curious How human meat taste."_ Luffy spoke in his mind.

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Later at dinner, Sanji appeared with a bruised face. Zoro snicker at Sanji new face "Nice look, dartboard." Sanji glared at Zoro but didn't try to kick him. He didn't want Nami mad at him again. When dinner was served. Sanji occasionally threw a dirty look at Luffyin which Luffy didn't realize it at all. Chopper and Usopp didn't touch their foods instead they eyed it nervously, making Luffy had a chance to steal their food.

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**The end**


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